~The Tweet Before Christmas! - 2012

- by Raymond Woodward

 ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all across Twitter, Nimble digits did type, iPhone screens were a-glitter.

      The tweets they were flying with speed and delight, As each one made plans for a great winter's night.

 "I'm traveling," "I'm eating," “Winding up odds and ends,” "I just wrapped the presents,” “I'm visiting friends."

     When all of a sudden, to collective dismay, Every screen froze like ice. Twitter wouldn’t display!

One horrible moment silenced all of the chatter; I rebooted three times, then saw what was the matter.

     Away to their website I flew like a geek, Punched the URL in, then I started to shriek.

The dreaded “Fail Whale” that appeared on my laptop, Made my blood pressure soar and my heart do a flip-flop.

     I felt my pulse quicken, my complexion turned grey; If I can’t read some tweets, it will ruin Christmas Day!

I can’t live with my source of quotations in shambles, Can’t survive without jokes or those cynical rambles.

     But that’s not the worst! Now this tech-savvy pastor, Can’t find sermon thoughts – a colossal disaster!

No @TFTenney! No @JerryLDean! No @joelurshan! No @LukeLevine! No @clloydmitchell! No @jimmytoney! 

     No terryshock! No @pauldmooney!

Their tweets had all vanished and that made me nervous; In just a short while we’d start Christmas Eve service!

     I was counting on wisdom in tweets that inspire, But when Twitter goes down I profusely perspire.

And then in a twinkling it all became clear, And I felt holy boldness instead of my fear.

     With a swift revelation I knew what to do: I would simply preach Jesus, from Luke chapter two.

How He took upon flesh and was born in a stable, To redeem and invite us to mercy’s grand table.

     A burden of sin was placed on his back, The earth it did quake, and the Heavens turned black.

When at Calvary, this baby who now was a man, Cried out, “It is finished!” and sin’s gulf did span.

     Then just three days later some empty grave clothes, And a rolled-away stone made it clear - He arose!

As God’s Word became new, this confessed Apostolic, Realized with a jolt, “I’m a Twitter-aholic!”

     I can let it distract me from something far better – Spending quality time with my Savior’s Love Letter.

No more will God’s Book sit unused on a shelf, While I tweet one more quote from my ingenious self.

     Just then Twitter came up, what a beautiful sight! But my fingers held back, and the silence felt right.

For our hope’s not in websites, or Twitter, or things, But in Jesus, Emmanuel, King of all Kings.

     By the glow of my phone, like a dim winter moon, I just tweeted one time to say, “I’ll be back soon.”

Then I gathered my family and we started to leave, To be on time for church on this quiet Christmas Eve.

     But I turned my phone off, ‘ere we drove out of sight – Merry Christmas to all! I’ll skip Twitter tonight. :-)


- Courtesy of Raymond Woodward (used by permission)